saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
