Already got asked if we're dating
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
