Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
