I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
