$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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