My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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