i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
