so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
