i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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