she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
