Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
