wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
