Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
