Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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