I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize