You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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