I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Randomize
