Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
