I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
