I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
