Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
