I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
