So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
