the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
