the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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