I need help removing her.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
