i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
