But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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