I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
