my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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