I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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