i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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