well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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