If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
