I need help removing her.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
