I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
