Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
These tits shall not be calmed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
false alarm, still single
Randomize