Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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(214): View more from Texas

i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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(253): View more from Washington

I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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(509): View more from Washington

He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

(425): View more from Washington

Is that even possible?

(509): View more from Washington

I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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(415): View more from California

also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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(562): View more from California

Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook

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(303): View more from Colorado

Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that

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(404): View more from Georgia

I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises

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