Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
