Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
