Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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