dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
