I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
anything below 65Ā° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
