my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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