If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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