He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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