Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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