well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just pee around me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
