i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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