My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
