While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
