then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
