PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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