The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
