I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
