office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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