i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
