I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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