Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
