Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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