brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
