she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize