I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was CRYING into my vagina
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize