Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
