he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
