I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
