matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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